Dear (kate spade, Longchamp, Tory Burch, etc),

I am writing to you today to let you know about how much money I have spent on you in our long-term relationship of 8 years. In this relationship, I seem to be giving you cold-hard earned cash…and you give me a temporary happiness that is just as quick and fleeting as a Venti Iced Coffee from Starbucks.

We have to see other people, and by other people…I mean I have to see Target, and you have to see my closet. Sigh. We both knew that this was going to come sooner rather than later, and it’s not meant to hurt your feelings…but in all honesty, this isn’t a healthy relationship. You take my money, tempt me with high expectations and pretty colors, and then hit me to the floor with your prices. In essence, you use me for my money.

This is why, for at least 6 months, we have to take a break from each other. Don’t make it awkward and e-mail me…I won’t respond.

All my love and friendship,

Kate