Stuff I’ve Done Wrong: Mom Edition

No matter what I write or what anyone writes– your child might be different, and those things might not work for you.ย 

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Hey, yea, so there’s a couple of things that I should tell you all about my parenting style: I don’t do things the way the moms of my time tell the internet forums to do stuff. Yup, I’m a bad millennial mom, and I’m not sorry about it.

I stopped listening to every single forum out there on the world wide paranoid web when I read a post while pregnant about the things I could NOT do while pregnant. To be honest, I’m sure there are some folks out there that would strongly encourage living in a small bubble to just make sure that everything is balanced when pregnant.

Now, I wasn’t the happiest of pregnant people. For one; everyone around me thought I had transformed into a psycho, for another; I was too lazy to follow any of the rules. Granted, I didn’t do anything horribly wrong, such as drinking, smoking, jumping off bridges, etc…but at 9 months pregnant, I BY ACCIDENT ate swordfish. My b. But, my son is a year and a half (16 months for those who prefer counting by months until their kid is 5) and he’s the most fine any kid could be. So, for those pregnant– if you slip up and drink a coffee…relax. If you slip up and drive your car on a bumpy road…relax. You’ll get through it.

Now, on to the last 16 months of my son’s life:

We didn’t co-sleep, I had him in the crib by the time he was 3 months old, I played Fetty Wap in the car while my son was 4 months old, I didn’t stick him in front of a TV at 5 months old, I didn’t put batteries in the swing or cradle for extra vibrations because it’s too overstimulating, I used Facebook once for parenting advice and then I found google and my doctor’s phone number,ย and lastly, I didn’t stress about every single developmental step, every single problem out there– because when you do, you get gray hair.

Moral of my story, you’re going to screw up– and you’re going to be afraid, but it’s not the end of the world if your kid doesn’t start walking right at 13 months. When you learn to not stress about every single thing, you start to actually find your groove and your parenting style.ย I figured out that reading mommy blogs that used fire and brimstone in order to breed fear in their readers just wasn’t for me. No matter what I write or what anyone writes– your child might be different, and those things might not work for you.

Things will come up, and you have to learn to be cool and collected while handling it, because children feed off your behavior. The first time you have to fill out paperwork for your child will be something else, and you’ll actually realize that you’re in charge of this baby, and you have to do right by him or her.

The best piece of advice, and the only piece I ever listened to was this:

“Don’t ever let your child dictate your life, they may alter it, change how things are done, but never work around their schedule. They have to learn to be in your world, and it’s your job to teach them.”

Love you, mean it

K

PS: Don’t be a bitter Betty about my rant. Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

How To: Beach with Baby

So, what’s a new mom to do?

It’s June, whichย  means it’s unbearable in your house, and outside. Let’s just call this the month of “let’s just go somewhere with air conditioning.” It’s also the beginning of many northerners heading to the beach or the pool to cool off. So, what’s a new mom to do? I mean, we already pack up half of our lives every time we go to the grocery store, so what the heck do you bring with you on a day outing?

I’ve gotten my bags down to a science. Sometimes, for day outings– you gotta wing it. A few essentials, but if you pack too much, you’ll end up carrying things back and forth to your car. You’ll be grumpy and tired, and have to deal with a sun-kissed toddler(s). It’s not easy, but it’s doable. Let’s break it down:

Write a checklist the day before

…and go over it with someone, if you’re really crazy. Just read it a couple times to your self, and think about your situations that you’re going to be in. Here’s what’s on my list:

  1. 4-5 diapers
  2. wipes
  3. a change of clothes
  4. a towel/blanket
  5. sunscreen for face and body
  6. pacifier or favorite toys
  7. umbrella or mini tent for some shady snoozes
  8. a mini cooler or lunchbox (I snagged mine from my husband)
    1. 2 bottles filled with water
    2. Packets of formula
    3. If your baby is starting on solids– feel free, but I would save that for when you get home.

Here’s the thing about this stuff. You aren’t going to an island with no stores– and if you are, you’re lucky because I can’t stand people. If you forget something, get it asap from a store while you’re there.

Pack Up The Night Before

Make sure that you aren’t just throwing things in a pack. Let’s get some Monica action here: Yell check after everything goes in..not. Anyway, make sure that you have a ziplock bag for your sunscreen, and some plastic bags for your diapers! While your at it, pack up your stuff as well.

Eat before leaving

Make sure to feed the babes before going, maybe while someone else packs up the car. It is simpler than the baby waking up mid-way through the drive and SCREAM the whole rest of the way.ย  On that note, put on your sunscreen before putting on bathing suits, swim shirts ride up, and no one likes a crispy baby!

Keep It Short/Don’t push going in the water

You know my kid loves a good pool, but if the baby hasn’t napped, hasn’t eaten, and is hot– guess what you’re not having? A good time. The best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten was to have your baby fit into your schedule, but that doesn’t mean forget that you have a baby who does need to eat and sleep. Read the signs, and if he/she starts to cry– stop trying to get that perfect photo, and start your routine!

Take Pictures

But, as I said before– don’t push your kid. I can’t STAND seeing parents on the beach saying, “Just one more, I know you’re tired!” Like, seriously? Your kid is cooked. Just stick a fork in him, because he…is done. Wait until after their nap or after they eat to take some candids. Guess what? The beach is always going to be there– and just because you didn’t get a catalog worthy pic doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a mother.

Bathe Them

Here’s something I didn’t realize– bathing your babes after sunscreen. For those more experienced moms– sorry that I made you cringe. I really didn’t know! My mom told me once it started getting nice out. If we apply sunscreen, homeboy gets a bath when we get home. If he’s snoring hardcore, wipe him down and bathe him first thing in the morning. You don’t want to go two days without cleaning off that sweat from his/her body.

I know I’m being bossy, and my favorite thing to say to mommas is don’t listen to anyone’s advice and just do what you feel is right– but somethings, you need a couple stories/pieces of advice to help you decide what is right for you.

 

 

 

Love you, mean it.

 

K