Stuff I’ve Done Wrong: Mom Edition

No matter what I write or what anyone writes– your child might be different, and those things might not work for you. 

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Hey, yea, so there’s a couple of things that I should tell you all about my parenting style: I don’t do things the way the moms of my time tell the internet forums to do stuff. Yup, I’m a bad millennial mom, and I’m not sorry about it.

I stopped listening to every single forum out there on the world wide paranoid web when I read a post while pregnant about the things I could NOT do while pregnant. To be honest, I’m sure there are some folks out there that would strongly encourage living in a small bubble to just make sure that everything is balanced when pregnant.

Now, I wasn’t the happiest of pregnant people. For one; everyone around me thought I had transformed into a psycho, for another; I was too lazy to follow any of the rules. Granted, I didn’t do anything horribly wrong, such as drinking, smoking, jumping off bridges, etc…but at 9 months pregnant, I BY ACCIDENT ate swordfish. My b. But, my son is a year and a half (16 months for those who prefer counting by months until their kid is 5) and he’s the most fine any kid could be. So, for those pregnant– if you slip up and drink a coffee…relax. If you slip up and drive your car on a bumpy road…relax. You’ll get through it.

Now, on to the last 16 months of my son’s life:

We didn’t co-sleep, I had him in the crib by the time he was 3 months old, I played Fetty Wap in the car while my son was 4 months old, I didn’t stick him in front of a TV at 5 months old, I didn’t put batteries in the swing or cradle for extra vibrations because it’s too overstimulating, I used Facebook once for parenting advice and then I found google and my doctor’s phone number, and lastly, I didn’t stress about every single developmental step, every single problem out there– because when you do, you get gray hair.

Moral of my story, you’re going to screw up– and you’re going to be afraid, but it’s not the end of the world if your kid doesn’t start walking right at 13 months. When you learn to not stress about every single thing, you start to actually find your groove and your parenting style. I figured out that reading mommy blogs that used fire and brimstone in order to breed fear in their readers just wasn’t for me. No matter what I write or what anyone writes– your child might be different, and those things might not work for you.

Things will come up, and you have to learn to be cool and collected while handling it, because children feed off your behavior. The first time you have to fill out paperwork for your child will be something else, and you’ll actually realize that you’re in charge of this baby, and you have to do right by him or her.

The best piece of advice, and the only piece I ever listened to was this:

“Don’t ever let your child dictate your life, they may alter it, change how things are done, but never work around their schedule. They have to learn to be in your world, and it’s your job to teach them.”

Love you, mean it

K

PS: Don’t be a bitter Betty about my rant. Thanks 🙂

Bags for the Chill Ma

Plus there is a top handle for when you feel sassy and want to go have some vodka clubs…

As a purse aficionado, I find it to be my duty to share with all the other moms out there what the best way is to carry around all the crap needed while being a HMIC. (In case that flew over your head it’s head mom in charge. Bitch is too drastic)

Anywho, we all know the feeling. You get up early, the babe is still napping, and you actually shower and brush your hair. There’s an extra spring in your step, and you decide, “oh I’m cute today.” For a fashion lover, what’s the best accessory? For me, it’s my bag.

Here’s a couple bags I want you guys to keep in your running when searching for a new bag all complied in my head while listening to the Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood theme song:

    1. Longchamp Small Le Pliage Shoulder Tote: This Betty is on the more expensive side for a budget friendly bitch, but it’s worth it. The only drawback, as everyone knows, nylon bags can fray on the corners. So, don’t…throw it around? But, I call this $125 bag my on the go baby purse bag. Yes, I use the large version for my actual “mommin is a habit” bag, but the small over the shoulder is perfect when you get to the point that you think you can wing it with one diaper, a package of wipes, and a pacifier. Let’s call this bag your “living on the edge” bag. But Kate, Longchamps don’t have any compartments! But, Betty..there’s this thing and I lurv it: It’s an insert, and it’s not the one for $60.
    2. Cocktail Crossbody Bag: Girl, did you not go check out Who What Wear after my last post? Seriously. Go, and get this bag too. It’s a gingham, crossbody with just enough room for your money and car keys. Cross body bags free up your hands and make sure that they aren’t bulky and in your way while you are carrying a squirmy toddler who doesn’t want anything to do with being carried. Easy, peasy..and plus there is a top handle for when you feel sassy and want to go have some vodka clubs.
    3. Zooawa Diaper Bag, Large Capacity Baby Nappy Tote Multi Pockets Travel Handbag: Amazon prime lovers, unite! Log on and grab this just under $35 diaper bag with a perfect amount of room. Guess what? When you put too much in your bags, you can never find what you need when you need it. Baby crying? No pacifier anywhere…need a diaper change? You’re only grabbing your backup onesie.  Should I keep momsplaining? I really don’t want to. Make sure you pack what you know you’ll use and leave your “just in case” items in your car in a larger tote (along with backup formula and water bottles) No need to look like a crazy in front of everyone at the mall. Actually, nevermind– who cares? You prob have a cute AF kid, carry 6 bags for all I care.

I’m over the “I can use my Louis Vuitton for a baby bag” people. I was one of them. You know how damn heavy that was?! Sure, use your $1100 purse to carry around diapers and be at risk for spills of baby food and formula. After my son’s bottle became uncapped in my Neverfull, I.nearly.died.

One last pro-tip: Use 10 minutes of your time to just clean out and reorganize your bag each night or every two nights. You’ll be surprised at what falls into your bag, and what you throw in there when your pressed for time. If anything, you’ll feel more in control of something in your life, even if your baby won’t stop spitting up on every new outfit you change into 10 minutes before work. #spitupisthebestaccessory

Love you, mean it.

K