Let me tell you, working in retail is a job that can be rewarding, tiring, and terribly annoying within the same 8 hour shift. After working in a housewares store, a specialty store, and now a clothing store…I will tell you: I have seen it all. I have heard everything. Although I’ve seen and heard everything, it never ceases to amaze me how dense human beings can be. People never cease to amaze me. I love what I do, I find such great fulfillment in helping people and being in customer service. What I don’t love is being treated as if I am below another human. So here we have it: 15 Things that Happen in Retail that are Absolutely Hilarious. (give or take a couple people you meet along the way)
- It’s quite hilarious that customers from any walk of life seem to look down on retail workers. I mean, really look down on them. On the contrary, my dear friend, you should applaud us for our bravery…we have to deal with people like you every day.
- On top of that, the dense ones seem to not think a college degree is something we lowly retail workers can obtain. Which, by the way, is hilarious.
- What about a stranger being heavy makes it appropriate to ask when the baby is coming? OR…ooh this is my favorite, “What size are you? I mean, well..my daughter/niece/granddaughter/friend of family is like..your height..but like, thinner?” bullets are literally coming from my eyes.
- Being rude/in a rush/angry at a line of people is literally not going to solve anything.
- The argument that the computer’s math is wrong.
- The argument that a receipt is not necessary for a full cash refund. No, I will not believe you that you paid in cash, would you believe that?
- This customer: “I shop anonymously.” And then pay with a credit card.
- This customer: “Ha..I just printed up that hundred dollar bill.” Literally, that wasn’t funny the first time I heard it.
- This quote, “Oh, wow! It is dead in here! Guess you can close early!” If only, you basic, if only.
- This brainiac: “The line is really long…just bring out another register! I’m in a hurry!” Yes, that’s a thing that happens. We just have registers in the back. That we can move around. We purposely don’t have them out to annoy you.
- Coupons that employees never have laid eyes on. Coupons that don’t exist. Coupons that aren’t in the customer’s possession, but apparently are at home. It’s so good when a customer says that they left their coupon at home, and there are no current coupons. Literally, so good.
- Once, at the specialty shop I worked at, a man came in and told me to look into his eyes, and that he was able to read my soul.
- Once, at that same specialty shop I worked at, I was told I was white, and basic.. OH MY GOD, I AM?!
- Another time, I was told by a real human person that her DAWG could do my job better than me. That’s phenomenal. Please bring him here, the holiday season is coming. We need seasonal people.
- Finally, when a female customer shoots dirty looks at you for trying to help her brother/husband/boyfriend/fiance/whatever. Homegirl, please. In case you haven’t noticed– I work here. I don’t want any piece of that.
So there you have it. A billion reasons why retail is a fantastic job to have, bundled into 15. No, please, don’t pat me on the back just yet. Ok, do it.