15 Things that Happen in Retail that are Absolutely Hilarious

Let me tell you, working in retail is a job that can be rewarding, tiring, and terribly annoying within the same 8 hour shift. After working in a housewares store, a specialty store, and now a clothing store…I will tell you: I have seen it all. I have heard everything. Although I’ve seen and heard everything, it never ceases to amaze me how dense human beings can be. People never cease to amaze me. I love what I do, I find such great fulfillment in helping people and being in customer service. What I don’t love is being treated as if I am below another human. So here we have it: 15 Things that Happen in Retail that are Absolutely Hilarious. (give or take a couple people you meet along the way)

  1. It’s quite hilarious that customers from any walk of life seem to look down on retail workers. I mean, really look down on them. On the contrary, my dear friend, you should applaud us for our bravery…we have to deal with people like you every day.
  2. On top of that, the dense ones seem to not think a college degree is something we lowly retail workers can obtain. Which, by the way, is hilarious.
  3. What about a stranger being heavy makes it appropriate to ask when the baby is coming? OR…ooh this is my favorite, “What size are you? I mean, well..my daughter/niece/granddaughter/friend of family is like..your height..but like, thinner?” bullets are literally coming from my eyes.
  4. Being rude/in a rush/angry at a line of people is literally not going to solve anything.
  5. The argument that the computer’s math is wrong.
  6. The argument that a receipt is not necessary for a full cash refund. No, I will not believe you that you paid in cash, would you believe that?
  7. This customer: “I shop anonymously.” And then pay with a credit card.
  8. This customer: “Ha..I just printed up that hundred dollar bill.” Literally, that wasn’t funny the first time I heard it.
  9. This quote, “Oh, wow! It is dead in here! Guess you can close early!” If only, you basic, if only.
  10. This brainiac: “The line is really long…just bring out another register! I’m in a hurry!” Yes, that’s a thing that happens. We just have registers in the back. That we can move around. We purposely don’t have them out to annoy you.
  11. Coupons that employees never have laid eyes on. Coupons that don’t exist. Coupons that aren’t in the customer’s possession, but apparently are at home. It’s so good when a customer says that they left their coupon at home, and there are no current coupons. Literally, so good.
  12. Once, at the specialty shop I worked at, a man came in and told me to look into his eyes, and that he was able to read my soul.
  13. Once, at that same specialty shop I worked at, I was told I was white, and basic.. OH MY GOD, I AM?!
  14. Another time, I was told by a real human person that her DAWG could do my job better than me. That’s phenomenal. Please bring him here, the holiday season is coming. We need seasonal people.
  15. Finally, when a female customer shoots dirty looks at you for trying to help her brother/husband/boyfriend/fiance/whatever. Homegirl, please. In case you haven’t noticed– I work here. I don’t want any piece of that.

So there you have it. A billion reasons why retail is a fantastic job to have, bundled into 15. No, please, don’t pat me on the back just yet. Ok, do it.

xoxo -Kate


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s