Dear Kiosk Salesperson,
Thank you for taking the time out of your day (and mine) to try to sell me a facial product scooped up from the Dead Sea. Really, I appreciate it.

Frankly, I think I am too nice.. See, I work in the mall, and I sometimes only have a 15 minute break to get some food. I stopped for you, and smiled politely as you went through your sales pitch. As you can see, I am ravenous and I need to get some stuff done. Not to mention, I was harassed a few steps before this: at your brother’s “Dead Sea nail filing system” kiosk. He proceeded to take off my manicure (on one nail) to show me how my nail will shine without polish. I meant to thank him, I wanted one nail completely naked. I’m glad he did it for me.

You see, I am a sales person as well; but I don’t think you see me ripping people’s clothing off in order to make the sale. In my line of work that’s considered borderline rude and perverted. I am just as successful…if not more successful when not touching clients.

I encourage you to change your ways. Stop reaching out to me and telling me my eyes are beautiful…I know they are. If your sales are down, I think it has to do with the fact your product doesn’t work, not that you didn’t ruin enough people’s manicures or face makeup.

In closing, please take a sales lecture or training class. It will do wonders for your company.

Love,
The World