5 Go-To Recipes Under $20

Just like Taylor, I’m back.

Needed a bit of space– blank space if you will.

So, what have I been doing? Well, I’ve been:

Trying to make sure my kid stops being so mobile, haven’t put on make up in like a month, starting lusting over the color mustard, and making my lunches at home.

Yea, that’s right. It only took me about 3 years working in the same damn mall to realize that the food is actually shit there, and maybe it’s the reason I can’t seem to lose any weight. Bitter? Yes. Truthful? Yes.

Let’s just start with the choices that the state of Pennsylvania gives you as a whole: Applebees, Longhorn, Chickies (it’s good I get it, but like..not every Friday), Grand Lux, etc. The list of chains is endless. I guess being from New York makes me spoiled– but I’ll say it again. There’s literally nothing worth writing home about in this part of PA. Sorry, boo…but when you can’t find good Italian food 10 miles in any direction from your house, you start to get a bit irritated.

So, my lovely cook husband has started to whip up some awesome “take to work friendly” lunches and dinners. My problem with making lunches at home is that my hands are so full from my purse and my coffee that I usually don’t have a free hand to carry Tupperware in and out of work. I like easy, and simple, and lazy. Here’s a list of my favs and links to their recipes:

  1. Deviled Egg Macaroni Salad
  2. Paprika Parmesan Chicken
  3. Avocado Caprese Chicken Quesadilla
  4. Coconut Chicken Strips
  5. Avocado Egg Salad

If you wanted me to give you the recipes, you really are just reaching for me to do more work. In case you were wondering, this isn’t a cooking blog. But, alas– all 5 of these have something in common: They are so easy you won’t even feel like you’re really cooking– and with a 10 month old, I don’t really have enough time to cook a 5 course meal. Mostly because I’m too busy watching him crawl into my dog’s crate and try to eat one of Marlow’s 10 thousand tennis balls. Motherhood looks good on me, right?

Pro tip: Want to use Avocado in your lunch? It’s actually a freaking process– being that avocados oxidize like, super quick. You could put lemon juice on them or just leave the pit in to try to prevent oxidation. BUT I usually just wait to cut my avocados until lunch time–which is extra, and the ladies at the food court think I’m crazy when I ask them to cut an entire avocado open…but I do what I have to, amirite?

Want another pro tip? Make sure to remember to bring your containers out of your car. I know people probably adult much better than me, and that seems like a no-brainer, but just take the piece of advice and file it under your “Alright, I’m def more sane than Kate” tab. You may need it someday when your car smells.

 

Anyway, check back later this week (if I remember) to check out some new posts!

 

Love you, mean it.

K

 

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5 Of The Worst Bridesmaids Ever

Bridesmaids can make or break your wedding.

Bridesmaids can make or break your wedding. They are supposed to be your best girlfriends and your closest family members. Bridesmaids are supposed to make your life a little bit easier…but sometimes there can be a sour fruit in your basket.

The Drunk One
Ok, this is a dig at myself circa 2009, but c’est la vie, right? Whatever. Girlfriend definitely doesn’t know her limit, and she is totally fine with it. You will usually find her with a beer in her hand while everyone is having a mimosa on the morning of the wedding. We aren’t exactly sure how many she had before she got to the bride’s house, but we know that she probably pre-gamed. Your drunk bridesmaid will most likely ugly-loud cry at your ceremony, and make a scene at the cocktail hour about the lack of mixed drink options. Keep her around, she’s a lost soul.

The Slut
I don’t have any desire to have this lady in my bridal party…for good reason. Not only are your guy’s groomsmen all in committed relationships, but the guests that she’s hitting on all have dates that are currently present at your blessed event. Jesus. Does it ever end? Girlfriend couldn’t decide which squeeze would be the lucky guy, so she actually had the nerve to ask for a plus 2 for her invite. It’s a train wreck and a half, and is usually super entertaining…however, today is not the day for an airing of Desperate and Slutty.

The Overly Opinionated
OH GOD. Let’s just say, shut it. This one is the worst of the worst. Yes, opinions are fantastic…and are even better when you are already leaning against an idea. It’s not a great idea to have this one overly involved in your wedding plans, or you’ll end up planning her dream wedding instead of yours. Piece of advice? Keep this one at arm’s length. Word of advice to this bridesmaid? Get it together. This is your friend’s day…not yours. You two have different styles, and she may want to have a Newsie’s themed wedding. Back her up and ask what color suspenders you should wear.

The Ghost
You won’t see this bitch until she shows up without her jewelry on the wedding day. She probably made an excuse to not come to the rehearsal dinner, but instagrammed her mojito at that classless bar down the block. She will never respond back to your texts, and certainly will not be present at your bachelorette party. Whatever. How do you deal? Make sure to buy an EMF meter and hover it over your wedding pictures. She’ll show up again just in time for you to get pregnant, she loves a good baby shower.

The One Who Ain’t On Board
This one is single, and certainly ready to mingle. The one who ain’t on board should not be confused with the slut, due to one difference: she hates all men, and believes that she will never get a boyfriend. She loathes the fact that you have decided to enter into holy matrimony, and she literally cannot believe that you…the girl who swore off men in college…would ever “break” and get hitched. Let her know your RSVP to her wedding in 2020 to an elderly doctor is an obvious yes.

Love you, mean it

xoxo Kate

**Disclaimer: None of the aforementioned bridesmaid types represent anyone in my bridal party, for serious. Research has been done through many forums.

A Strongly Worded Letter to Kiosk Salespeople

Dear Kiosk Salesperson,
Thank you for taking the time out of your day (and mine) to try to sell me a facial product scooped up from the Dead Sea. Really, I appreciate it.

Frankly, I think I am too nice.. See, I work in the mall, and I sometimes only have a 15 minute break to get some food. I stopped for you, and smiled politely as you went through your sales pitch. As you can see, I am ravenous and I need to get some stuff done. Not to mention, I was harassed a few steps before this: at your brother’s “Dead Sea nail filing system” kiosk. He proceeded to take off my manicure (on one nail) to show me how my nail will shine without polish. I meant to thank him, I wanted one nail completely naked. I’m glad he did it for me.

You see, I am a sales person as well; but I don’t think you see me ripping people’s clothing off in order to make the sale. In my line of work that’s considered borderline rude and perverted. I am just as successful…if not more successful when not touching clients.

I encourage you to change your ways. Stop reaching out to me and telling me my eyes are beautiful…I know they are. If your sales are down, I think it has to do with the fact your product doesn’t work, not that you didn’t ruin enough people’s manicures or face makeup.

In closing, please take a sales lecture or training class. It will do wonders for your company.

Love,
The World

A PSA To All “Basic” Shaming Citizens

Yes you.. we’re all talking about you. The ones who are too “complex” to like pumpkin spice lattes or pictures of leaves. Ugh, us basics hate you…but for the right reasons. See, for us, we feel like we get hated on…for liking what we like. We don’t envy you at all. Why? Because it’s hard as hell to figure out something else to like that isn’t what everyone has dubbed, “basic.”

The other day, I was called basic at least 4 different times by four different people. Stop shaming me for liking what makes me happy!

In my 24 years on this earth, I have met my fair share of a certain type of woman. A “don’t give into girly, ridiculous, common people things!” type of woman. This frustrates me. Frustrates me to the point of wanted to make complex shaming a thing. Why put the extra effort into finding things to like that makes it hard for me to buy you a gift? For my basic friends? Starbies gift cards for all! As for my complex friends, I’ll have to go to a music store and find sheet music for an oboe, because that’s what you decided to take up as an instrument to be “different.”

I have found that the complex girls are the ones that I have to watch out for. The basic ones? I know what they’re about. The complex girls of the world hate on me for almost being…dare I say it…stupid. Like I’m not smart enough to like uncommon things. And to you I say WELCOME. Because you are all partaking in the biggest part of being basic…and that is…hating. So welcome ladies and gents! We can’t wait to take our first Starbucks trip with you! 🙂