friends

I’ve been asked by many how I’m going through this transition of eating whatever TF I want, to actually being fairly disciplined in watching what I am eating. (Fairly is the key word in this)

Well, friends, it’s no easy task. Anyone can just log onto Instagram, Facebook, Twitter..and find a diet that is way too difficult, too unobtainable– and then give up after posting 3 pictures of themselves at Whole Foods Gluten Free aisle. Let me tell ya: Gluten Free ain’t something to do unless you have an issue: then by all means, be gluten-free.

I’ve met with dietitians that measured me, weighed me, and given me diets: and I really am happy to say that it actually worked. To get a plan was expensive but worth it. To have someone rooting in your corner was expensive and nagging…but WORTH.IT. I’ve since moved to a different state, lost a couple of years– but now, I’m back on track. (BTW pah-leeze don’t get mad at me because you think I’m wrong) BUT I am able to say: Sugar free, for me, works da best.

For three-five whole days I thought about decapitating everyone around me. I thought about food constantly, and only wanted just about everything that you walked past or saw on my Instagram feed. I did the opposite of exposure therapy. I brought my own lunch to work, didn’t leave the office to walk past the various places with treats, and did not eat out for the first week. I needed a full on detox, from temptation and food. I made sure to drink water, not deprive myself of meals, and not load up on a ton of fruit. (You’ll just want something sweet)

Going grocery shopping when you’re deprived of something that seemed like my whole body was made of was the worst day of my life. I looked up recipes before I went and jotted down what I needed. My dietitian said to read every single label– read everything before you put it in your body– and obey the serving size. LOL have you seen how much cereal you should be eating? Jokes. Did you know cereal isn’t allowed on my diet? Lol. Jokes again. I went through aisle after aisle in my grocery store picking up things I thought looked “heathly” and putting them back down after seeing 12 grams of sugar in one serving. By the time I got home, I was crying because I came home with chicken, peppers, cauliflower, and quinoa. My dad actually made fun of me because I was crying about food. Which, in hindsight, it’s terribly funny because I was crying about food. After a week of dieting and taking pictures of every single portion I ate, I met with my good ole friend, Maria. She combed through my camera roll and gave me props or feedback about each plate.

“What kind of sauce is that?”

“Yea, your grains should never be so much that they are falling off the plate.”

“Are you sure that’s all you ate?”

She never made me feel bad about my image. Everything she said was for me to get healthier. It was never about those measurements. After three weeks, I told her I could actually wake up with my alarm. I saw a difference in how my legs and knees felt. Yes, I had lost some inches around my waist- but I initially went to her because I felt sick, and at 24, I didn’t think I should feel so tired I could hibernate through the winter.

Fast forward to this year. I woke up the week of January 17th and felt sick. My baby was whining in the next room to get picked up and start the day- and I just couldn’t do it. I got up, sluggishly walked into his room, could barely pick him up, and unhappily started my day…at 8:30am. I knew I needed to change myself. If not for me, but for MP3. My whole life I wanted to be a young mom, because I felt like I would be able to chase my kids around and be the best mom possible…at 27, I shouldn’t be this slow. My knees shouldn’t hurt his bad..and my pants shouldn’t be this tight. (So much drama)

I knew what I had to do. After MP3’s breakfast, I made myself an Eggo waffle with Nutella and had my last meal. I packed my lunch (LOL if you know me), dropped the baby off at his grandmom’s, and pranced off to work feelin’ like a million bucks. I later got a granola bar that had 10 grams of sugar in it and said, “OK, now this is my last meal.” And, I meant it. I’m older, wiser, and have much more willpower than I used to. It’s because I know what didn’t work the last time. The last time around, I just said “just a taste” to everything after 6 months, and then it became…”well okay.”

This time, I came armed with a nagging husband, mom, and boss who all throw curveballs my way and then praise me with how well I’m doing. I’m doin’ this for me, but also for my instagram feed. (Just kidding)

If you want a friend to watch food with, or diet with–LMK. I’m not a professional, but I’m a friend!

Love you, mean it.

Disclaimer: Like honestly, go to a dietition or something if you need a food plan and don’t take my word as bible… because mine was designed around me…and they know some shit and went to school for this. This is for motivating the crap out of you.

First Thing’s First

The first thing on the list is getting a handle on how big you actually want your wedding to be. It’s all a numbers game. If you want a big wedding, and you have the budget, go ahead! Make it a 300 plus wedding. If you want to be more selective, it’s your prerogative!

Narrow down who is important to you and who you don’t want to be there. Talk about the different “tiers” in your family. Direct family, 1st cousins, 2nd cousins, and their children are all on different tiers. If you are having complications, jot down your family layout and your fiancé’s family layout. Label each tier. Then, make a cut off after a certain tier, and invite everyone before the cut off. It may sound cut throat, but it’s necessary for your sanity.

Honestly, guest lists are different for everyone. No person can sit you down and say, “Okay, this is who should be invited…and this is who isn’t.” Families in this world couldn’t be more different. Each situation is specific to the family. One bride may be close with her first and second cousins, while your fiancé has not spoken to his second cousins in a long time. Therefore, your fiancé will make his tier list shorter.

Children or No Children?

Specify if you want children, or just the ones (if any) in your wedding party. This is the exception to the tier rule. For some brides, children are not invited under 18, unless they have a relationship with the bride or groom. Some brides may think that is rude to request…but weddings are more of an adult activity. Most children are not going to remember the wedding, so leave them home. For children in the wedding party, leave the reception plan up to the parents.

Although children are cute and sweet, brides may not want someone to steal their thunder…and that’s okay. The wedding day is a day that is celebrating the bride and groom. Not a newborn baby and his or her newest development of being able to walk. It isn’t a selfish wish.

What Friends Make The List?

Make sure to invite friends that are spoken to on the regular and any friend who you want there. The rule is generally that an invitation can be sent if you have spoken to the person in the last year- six months. Make sure to take a long hard look of who has actually taken the time out to talk to you and be your friend. After the news breaks over social media, be prepared for a storm of “friends” congratulating you…hoping to get invited. Don’t fall for it, and make sure to keep your head on straight when sending out invites.

Coworkers can be chosen at the bride or groom’s discretion. A big rule: you must hang out with the coworker outside of work to invite them. People can be very different at work and out at a bar. Be sure you know how they are around alcohol, and around strangers. Make sure they will be able to mesh. If you don’t feel comfortable: don’t invite them.

Who Gets Dates?

The age old question: Is there a plus one invite? Our answer: not unless you are in a very serious relationship. Why? Do you think any bride or groom wants to see their friend throw themselves at a random date all night while celebrating a couple’s actual love? In many cases, single friends will be happy that you do not put them through the awkward process of having to ask a person to come with them.

**In other cases, guests will use their plus ones to invite a person that was initially left off of your guest list on purpose.

If you are asked why a plus one wasn’t given, explain that only people in relationships received a plus one. Tell your guest that there will be plenty of people in that age group without a date.

Tag: friends

Sugar Free? How about, Fun Free?