5 Of The Worst Bridesmaids Ever

Bridesmaids can make or break your wedding.

Advertisements

Bridesmaids can make or break your wedding. They are supposed to be your best girlfriends and your closest family members. Bridesmaids are supposed to make your life a little bit easier…but sometimes there can be a sour fruit in your basket.

The Drunk One
Ok, this is a dig at myself circa 2009, but c’est la vie, right? Whatever. Girlfriend definitely doesn’t know her limit, and she is totally fine with it. You will usually find her with a beer in her hand while everyone is having a mimosa on the morning of the wedding. We aren’t exactly sure how many she had before she got to the bride’s house, but we know that she probably pre-gamed. Your drunk bridesmaid will most likely ugly-loud cry at your ceremony, and make a scene at the cocktail hour about the lack of mixed drink options. Keep her around, she’s a lost soul.

The Slut
I don’t have any desire to have this lady in my bridal party…for good reason. Not only are your guy’s groomsmen all in committed relationships, but the guests that she’s hitting on all have dates that are currently present at your blessed event. Jesus. Does it ever end? Girlfriend couldn’t decide which squeeze would be the lucky guy, so she actually had the nerve to ask for a plus 2 for her invite. It’s a train wreck and a half, and is usually super entertaining…however, today is not the day for an airing of Desperate and Slutty.

The Overly Opinionated
OH GOD. Let’s just say, shut it. This one is the worst of the worst. Yes, opinions are fantastic…and are even better when you are already leaning against an idea. It’s not a great idea to have this one overly involved in your wedding plans, or you’ll end up planning her dream wedding instead of yours. Piece of advice? Keep this one at arm’s length. Word of advice to this bridesmaid? Get it together. This is your friend’s day…not yours. You two have different styles, and she may want to have a Newsie’s themed wedding. Back her up and ask what color suspenders you should wear.

The Ghost
You won’t see this bitch until she shows up without her jewelry on the wedding day. She probably made an excuse to not come to the rehearsal dinner, but instagrammed her mojito at that classless bar down the block. She will never respond back to your texts, and certainly will not be present at your bachelorette party. Whatever. How do you deal? Make sure to buy an EMF meter and hover it over your wedding pictures. She’ll show up again just in time for you to get pregnant, she loves a good baby shower.

The One Who Ain’t On Board
This one is single, and certainly ready to mingle. The one who ain’t on board should not be confused with the slut, due to one difference: she hates all men, and believes that she will never get a boyfriend. She loathes the fact that you have decided to enter into holy matrimony, and she literally cannot believe that you…the girl who swore off men in college…would ever “break” and get hitched. Let her know your RSVP to her wedding in 2020 to an elderly doctor is an obvious yes.

Love you, mean it

xoxo Kate

**Disclaimer: None of the aforementioned bridesmaid types represent anyone in my bridal party, for serious. Research has been done through many forums.

Chic and Cheap Weddings: 102

Take your seats and get your notebooks out, it’s time for another wedding chat. Last time, we spoke about photographers, wedding halls, dresses, flowers, and Pinterest avoidance. This time, we’re digging deeper into details. Rip off that band-aid, girl! We’ve got stuff to do.

I’ll start by talking about the smaller deets: Pre Cana (If you’re into it), Bridesmaid dresses and gifts, cakes, and save the dates.

Religious Training for Marriage

If you want your marriage to be recognized by your religion/church/temple (etc.), your significant other and you must attend classes in order to be well prepared for the sacrament. In my case, Michael and I must attend Pre Cana. To be honest, we’re fairly excited. We want to meet new couples that are just as excited and are ready to get married. The downside? That $150-$300 fee to take the class. Girrrrrl what theeee…?! I’m all for doing this right, but wow! That’s pretty hefty. This is something that’s non-negotiable. Especially if your religion is important. My suggestion for this one? Put aside the money down. Live on yogurt and PB sandies for the next week until your paycheck comes in. It will be over and done with. Better yet, submit the payment so you aren’t tempted to use it.

Bridesmaids

Sisters, cousins, and besties all will be gathered next to you the day of your wedding. You appreciate it right?! But where does the line get crossed? What is proper wedding etiquette when it comes to the bridesmaid dresses? What about gifts? If you are buying the dresses for your ladies, forget the gift. That is their gift. Bridesmaid dresses (if not shopped for appropriately) can be upwards of $400!! Going on sites like bridesmaids.com will be a lifesaver for you. Being money conscious for your girls is also a huge thing. Yes, that bridesmaid dress is perf, but the one of $99.00 is much better in your bridesmaid’s eyes. Please don’t start with the “but it’s my day!” crap. Yes, it’s your day, but those girls don’t HAVE to be next to you. Be kind.

As for gifts, make it personal. Make it you. Make it you and your bridesmaid. Stop with that expensive stuff! (Unless you get a phenom deal, then go ahead) There are plenty of things you can do as an alternative that your bitties will like just as much, like a welcome box with a bottle of wine, some gum, some cute (reasonable) earrings or a bracelet, and an adorable wine glass. Get your creative on. Your bridesmaids will appreciate your sentimental actions and be so much more excited to do things for you! (excellent.)

*This bullet also goes for groomsmen.

Cakes

We’re sailing into uncharted territory. This is probably the single thing I am avoiding while planning my wedding. I feel too much pressure! I like chocolate, but my family may not! My friends might hate fondant, and my family may hate buttercream! As if Pinterest wasn’t pressure enough, so many of my friends are shocked I’m not excited about this. Whatevs, I don’t like a lot of sugar! Sue me. Anywhos, my reception site makes the cake. Which is super convien. and makes me happy that I don’t have to go cake maker shopping. Ugh. For those of you that aren’t as lucky, make sure that you LIKE the taste of the cake. Make sure that the cake is a flavor that you and your fiance enjoy or agree on. After all, the cake is probably never remembered…with all that alcohol, right?

If you’re like me, look at alternatives. Although I’ll be getting a cake (as per my fiance’s request), cupcakes and a dessert table can be beautifully arranged.

Save the Dates

Make sure not to spend too much money on this. I swear, everyone obsesses over save the dates. I’ll tell you what I think: It literally sits in a person’s house, on their refrigerator (or didn’t even make it out of the envelope). Most of the time, the invitation is what really reminds a person. It’s a good idea to send out save the dates if a couple is getting married on a holiday weekend. Other than that, save the dates are frills that are fun to look at.

Tune in next time for the unnecessary frills that are never noticed!

xoxo- Kate