Author: katemcgate

A typical Long Island girl with a passion for beauty, fashion, and "chic" ness... can rationalize myself into buying almost anything and everything I think is pretty. I’m making a stand, putting down the debit card, and budgeting myself. Care to watch? Don’t be fooled by my shallow exterior, I’m a product of my environment.

What’s in my baby bag

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Packing in general gives me heart palpitations. So, when talk of baby bags came up in conversation, I was…stressed out. I’m an overpacker, so the fact that I would have to pack an everyday bag for an infant…forget it.

Going off the notion that I wanted to be #instafamous, I decided to play off of those beautiful mothers that everyone sees with their hair curled and their designer baby bags. When I was given a super generous birthday present from my husband, I quickly decided my Louis Vuitton Neverfull would be filled with baby essentials…I just had to figure out how I would control my urge to overpack.

Long story short, the Louis didn’t cut it. I packed up my essentials with an insert I got off Amazon for about $15.00 and works wonders. Don’t get the ToteSavvy unless you have loads of money, because those puppies will run you over $50. Anywho, my bag was ALWAYS full, regardless of the famous name, “Neverfull” and was so heavy that I just ended up winging it on outings and leaving the diaper bag in the car…and hoping for the best.

I soon realized that I still wanted to be stylish and practical, so I switched to a nylon Longchamp and put my insert in there. It has been such a life changer. Below you’ll find my short list of must haves:

  1. 4-6 diapers. I use the Pamper’s Swaddlers…but a free diaper is just that, so take what you get and make sure to pay attention to when you are getting low…because seriously, no one likes a baby with no diapers. It’s really messy.
  2. Wipes. Again, this is a given, but it’s still on the list.
  3. Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. It’s a mommy go-to, but use what you want. This just helps out with diaper rash.
  4. Burp Cloths. I am obsessed with Aden and Anais. I know they are kind of expensive, but the material is really absorbent and come in adorable patterns. I like the burpy bibs.
  5. Cotton Recieving Blanket: I got mine from Babies R Us, and they came in a pack. I use it to cover up public bathroom changing tables or for him to lay on if I have to change him in the car, etc. **You can also use a cloth diaper.
  6. Change of Clothes. Pack an outfit or two, but I just pack a couple onesies, extra cotton hat, a pair of socks, and a pair of stretchy pants. Keep it simple, because they are just going to spit up on it.
  7. Pacifier and pacifier wipes. I like the orthodontic ones from Nuk, but you’ll figure out what your baby will like. I usually don’t use the wipes, but if you want to look like a good mom in front of people, you can use one…even though I just use my mouth/run it under water. Oops, sorry about it.
  8. Diaper plastic bags. My friend gave me this for a shower present, and it’s something you wouldn’t think of. If you are a mom, but your friends still are too drunk to find their phone…they may not want the smell of a dirty diaper in their bathroom trash. It’s basically a plastic bag that is made by Arm and Hammer that cloaks the scent of anything undesirable.
  9. Camera. This is just me being a new mom, but it’s nice to have a camera around so you can capture some moments that you’ll later show his first prom date.

 

What to Expect when You Weren’t Exactly Trying to Expect Anything..

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Back in January, I was still trying to pursue my Insta famous and blog lifestyle, when something in the pit of my stomach told me that I may be pregnant. I was not trying nor was it the right time for my husband and I to bring a child into the world. However, after taking a pregnancy test and having a class five anxiety attack… I realized it was a blessing in disguise.

My pregnancy was not my favorite thing, but the reward at the end was so amazing. Although everyone says that a baby is expensive– but not in a way you can see right away…so I’m here to uncover the hidden expenses of your new bundle of joy.

Your Doctor Appointments aren’t always covered
Depending on insurance, you can be caught paying for ultrasounds, blood work, and various genetic testing that are always good to get…but not the most cost effective. Don’t even think that your cool 3D image of your baby is remotely covered…and if it is, you’re lucky AF. If your experience is anything like mine, your doctor’s office might not completely understand your insurance and tell you there was no copay, and send you various bills in the mail. Later on in my pregnancy, I went to the doctor every week. Each week, I would receive an envelope in the mail containing a bill for my copay. #super

Maternity Clothes
You know what’s fun? Shopping for overpriced maternity items because the clothing industry KNOWS you have to give in and buy some maternity items. Talk about a fun lesson in economics. Even though I didn’t buy much, I had to buy pants…and the cheapest I could find were some pairs at target on a major sale…so go there for some clothing staples. My suggestion? Find jeggings and maxis. If you are pregnant in the winter, invest in two pairs of pants. Jeans and another pair. It’s easy to find cheap and pretty shirts than a pair of pants for a reasonable price.

Breast Pumps
Ask your doctor about insurance covered pumps…and if you are not pumping– ask your doctor for samples of formula. (The pediatrician will have plenty) An average pump can range in price anywhere from $150-450! I don’t have that kind of cash, my friends.

The Hospital Copay
This can depend on your insurance also, but mine was $500…so keep that in mind when you are planning your birth plan. Also- I didn’t have a birth plan, so don’t ask me for advice on that.
For 500 bucks, get your money out of it– grab those newborn diapers and mesh underwear for your postpartum weeks ahead.

Necessities
So you are having a baby shower? Great. Make sure to REGISTER smart. Yes, clothes are adorable…but no one wants a baby with cute clothes and no diapers. Very messy. Trust me, your friends and family will buy you clothes.

Register for wipes, diapers, dreft, and things you NEED. My go-to list for cheap will be up in a couple days, so stay tuned.

Make sure to get some basic onesies and 4-5 outfits in newborn. My baby was in newborn for just TWO WEEKS…so keep that in mind. AND, at 5 weeks, my baby is almost out of 3 month because he is so tall.

If your friend/family member is having a baby– give them a necessity. It is a lot more of a relief than a cute outfit (then get some cute clothes when the baby is born!)

Food
You think you’re going to want to cook after giving birth? Yea, you’re a psycho. Not only will you forget to go to the bathroom, you will forget what time it is, too. If you want to help a friend out, cook some frozen meals. If you have some time before you give birth, put some crock pot meals together and make some casseroles. Try not to order food every night, even though it’s tempting.

Food for the baby? Don’t give up on breastfeeding right away, try it for a couple weeks. Formula is VERY expensive. Much like maternity clothes, the industry knows you have to buy it. I tried pumping and breast feeding for 3 weeks, and then switched to formula. This is when you ask the pediatrician for those samples.

Childcare
Yea, we all know childcare is an expense…but do you know HOW expensive? I’m literally still having panic attacks about it. Unless you’re a Rockefeller, you may have to go back to work. Nannies, in-home help, and day cares have fees and tuitions that are actually insane. It’s not Harvard. If you have an irregular work schedule FREAKING FORGET trying to find weekend help. So make sure you budget yourself, and ask for some favors along the way. A plate of brownies for your in-laws or neighbor could go a long way.

I’ve only been a mom for a month, so give me some other ideas! The only thing I know is that I have to leave my 6 week old baby while I brave the retail world JUST in time for the holidays. Don’t dogs get 8 weeks?

Cecelia

Slowly, my scars healed, and my heart healed, too.

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What I Haven’t Thanked My Niece For Yet : Originally posted on Real Talk Magazine

It was the beginning of winter 2010 and my first actual boyfriend had just broken up with me. My relationship was bad and my friends and family told me to leave, but I didn’t. Then the unthinkable happened; he left me. Not having any prior experience, I wasn’t sure how to direct my feelings. I laid in bed every day, skipped all my classes, drank and smoked almost everyday, and started not showing up to meetings and events. My roommates and friends stopped at my school’s apartments and gave me food and coffee. They all secretly spoke to my mother about my issues, and my parents had plans to pull me out at the end of the semester.

After seeing my ex beau out enjoying himself, only weeks after the break up, I felt more miserable than ever. We had been going out about ten months, and I had changed almost everything about myself. I had become, in my opinion, the perfect girlfriend. I did not have my own personality anymore. I started liking different music, smoking almost a pack of cigarettes per day, and never had an opinion that was different than his. No one understood the pain I felt, and each friend encouraged me to leave him in the dust. Looking back now, I’m glad he did what he did. I will never thank him for putting me through the crap he put me through during our relationship, but I am thankful he let me go.

One Friday afternoon my roommates had left for their weekend festivities, and I was left alone in my apartment. I wasn’t sure what my plans were for that weekend, but I knew they weren’t very special. I walked into the bathroom, took my razor, and cut my wrist. The pain was amazing, like something I’ve never felt before. It was a release of anger and pain that I was feeling in my head and my heart. I looked down at the fresh wound and couldn’t believe myself. Who was I? I’m a happy girl. Happy girls don’t do this. I am a good girl. Good girls talk about their feelings. I started to fade into a dizzy state. I was high off the pain. I cut again. This time I bled more. I sat on the floor of my bathroom, and cried. I thought, What is my life coming to? Why did I do that? Just then, I heard a knock at my door and my best friend, Tony, barged into my apartment as if he knew something was wrong. He yelled out my name and immediately opened the bathroom door. He screamed in sheer terror, picked me up, and raced me to the couch. He called my therapist, my therapist called my parents, and my parents called the school. That day was the end of my career at my university. I was deemed “unstable” to be in the dorms at school. I was a threat to my roommates and myself.

I was ordered by the dean of academic affairs to leave campus and go home for an evaluation immediately. One was scheduled for the day after I came home. I met with my regular therapist, and we went over the entire story leading up to cutting about 100 times. We talked about my sadness, what I felt, and if I had plans on going back to school. My second evaluation came after my therapist recommended I see a psychiatrist.

I was deemed unfit to go back to my university. I went back to gather my items on my own, and drove back the next morning. I felt helpless and hopeless. Like nothing in this world was worth living for. I lost my friends, I lost my sorority sisters, and most importantly, I gave up on my degree. I left 18 credits to be unfulfilled, and my great memories to just be memorialized in pictures.

I still wanted to take my own life, nothing in my head made me think otherwise. My mother and I would cry. She would watch me while I took showers and while I slept. For the next 2-3 months I was never alone, although I had never felt more alone in my life.

As I started to realize that my new life didn’t include friends and partying, I began to spend more time with my sister. She had given birth in early May of that year. I drove 45 minutes upstate every week on Fridays, and spent time with my newborn niece.

Going up to visit Cecelia began the new routine for me, a new way to take myself out of my own body. To concentrate on someone else. Each week, I looked forward to going up and having pizza Friday with my sister, brother-in-law, and niece I would escape from my reality.

I had never seen someone look at me with such love before, with such dependence. I would hold her in my arms and my body felt relaxed. I felt as if I had a reason to be alive. My niece needed me. She depended on me when her mother and father were at work, and she depended on me to be an adult.

One morning, Cecelia had fallen asleep in my arms, and her hands wrapped around my fingers. I stared at her fingernails. I saw how little her hands, her face, and her toes were. At that moment, I decided I would live for Cecelia. Although I did not want to live for myself, I would say alive, for her. She was different than the other people in my life. I felt that I had a responsibility to her. I had a role to play, and role that was new and exciting. She inspired me to stay alive. I had finally realized that I was not the center of the world, and I had to grow up.

As miserable as I still was, I would pick up the razor and put it back down. Visions, of events not yet happened, went through my head. One still stands in my mind: Cecelia was flipping through the pages of a photo album at my parent’s house. She had just turned 12, and she was looking for a picture of her with her parents. She was going to be giving them a picture frame as a present. There was a young woman holding her at the hospital. She looked so happy! Who was she? Cecelia went to my sister and point to the girl. It was me, but she wouldn’t know me.

I thought of the things I would never be able to do with her, the events I would miss, the fun days that I would never be able to see because I was selfish. I thought about her first trip to a Broadway play or her first drink from Starbucks. I thought about the first time she would need some advice about something she didn’t want to ask her mom about. I couldn’t give her a hug and tell her it would be okay.

I would be the taboo subject in my family. People would cry when they thought about me. My niece would never know how to dance to “Call Me, Maybe,” how to pose in pictures with your skinny arms, and do duck faces. My niece taught me how to live again, she taught me how to smile, and she taught me how to love myself, even if I had to learn through someone else.

Slowly, my scars healed, and my heart healed, too. Cecelia was the light out of all of the darkness in my life. As she grew, I grew up. She gave me the motivation to live another day. To see her walk, talk, and dance. I wanted to see her grow up, and I am.

This little girl saved my life and changed my thinking. I think when she’s older, I’ll tell her the story of her Aunt Katie almost not being around. But, maybe she doesn’t need to know the details. One day, she will know why and how important she is. Someday she will know what she did for me.

TBT: Money Edition

After a few close calls with not having enough money to get home from Manhattan, I quickly tried to change my ways.

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I am not sure as to when I started shopping like I had money, but it must have been way back in high school after I started my first job. I looked for deals, and not so good deals: whatever way I could get the look and brand that I wanted. Although I have worked through the better part of my life, I always found a way to not save money, whether it was a new bag, or a movie that I had to see: it was always the same story…maybe next time.

After I met my boyfriend, we finally realized how materialistic our lives had become, and set off on a journey of trying to save up for a future (key word: trying). It started off slowly, as we were in different countries, and I was living with my parents. I couldn’t seem to shake the urge to buy a new outfit every Friday, or a new makeup palette each paycheck. In hindsight, I was making up the excuse that since I didn’t have to pay for anything other than my coffee in the morning—everything else that I earned was fair game to be spent. Let’s just call this my immature stage. I started hiding my online buys from my parents, and racing the clock to get home before them so I could quickly dispose of the evidence. As for my boyfriend, he was buying items from 100 packs of batteries to a signed Oliver Khan jersey that went for a cool 100 euro. Clearly, we needed some sort of therapy.

Although I spent most of my time in school or working, I still find time to blow through my $500 paycheck every two weeks. A Sephora, Forever 21, J Crew, and Target trip were necessities every two-week period. Not to mention the amount of online purchases from ShoeDazzle, Etsy, and Birchbox that found their ways into my mail slot each week, too. By the time the Thursday before my paycheck came, I was counting up quarters in my car to buy myself a cup of coffee. Did I mention I wasn’t paying for my own gas, school loans, phone bill, or necessities? If I could, I would go back in time to give myself a good shake. What the heck was wrong with me? How did I manage to waste away thousands of dollars on items that I can’t even remember?

After a few close calls with not having enough money to get home from Manhattan, I quickly tried to change my ways. I asked my mom if she needed help around her office, and she offered to have me do her filing. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. I stored away the extra cash in an unused wallet, and tried to forget about it. Every now and again, the urge would creep up, and all my progress would crash down around me.

Fast forward to a year ago: my boyfriend and I were planning on getting engaged, I was living in Philadelphia, and I was still on my dad’s bankroll. I was miles ahead of my past self, but I was nowhere close to where I needed to be. I was living in my future parent-in-law’s house, and I was still depending on my dad’s gas card and EZpass to get me to work. I chose a career in retail, and as many know…that doesn’t exactly shout, “money.” I was always looking for a quick fix, when all I needed were 3 things. Three things that changed the way I thought about money, and has now allowed me to continue my career in retail, while purchasing a house, handling my own student loans, and never being late on a house payment.

  • I never thought of money in the correct way. I always thought money was a gateway to a shopping spree, or expendable. I seemed to always be waiting for the next paycheck: I would mess up my “saving plan” by spending it all in Nordstrom, and I would say to myself, “I’ll just wait for the next time I get paid to start saving.” All successful savings starts with a little bit of self-control, and just a bit more of planning. Living paycheck to paycheck? Me too. With a little planning, your miniscule paycheck will seem doable. Sit down and calculate how much money you need each day. For me, I like a coffee in the morning, and that won’t change. Calculate about $2.95 for a Venti iced, and a little extra for a treat at work (if you can). Depending on how often you get paid, take the number of days in between paychecks and multiply your $5.00 per day by that number. That is how much you need for spending money. Afterwards, plug in your monthly costs: electric, water, or mortgage. As for grocery shopping, make sure to keep your receipts to see how much you are spending, and what your average is. Always add that into your monthly costs. Check to see if there are ways to cut the fat, and what is non-negotiable. I use the app Minted in order to get my finances in order. Although I tend to like writing down things on paper, I do like the ease of an app in order to take my finances with me! Minted allows you to see how much you spend, where money is being spent the most, and it even lets you set your own budgets!
  • Utilizing credit cards and bank accounts responsibly. We all are in the same situation; taking out money can be a hassle. In this day? Who needs it? Everyone takes a credit or debit card, so why bother with cash? By taking out your paycheck spending money the day you get paid, it lets you envision your money being taken away from you instead of swiping a card. On bigger and necessary purchases, it is okay to whip out a Mastercard every so often, but make sure that you are not living beyond your means. For my husband and I, we pay off each purchase in the same billing cycle that is was made in. If your bank or credit card does not have an easy app to maneuver, I highly suggest moving your business elsewhere. I judge service of a company on how easy their app is to move around in. If I have to jump through hoops to find my balance, pay it off, or check out my statements, I won’t be staying too long. For my own bank account, I chose PNC bank. I have the virtual wallet account, and I cannot say one bad thing about it. The app is super easy, and customer service is out of this world. My favorite part? No minimum. The bank likes to give you a threshold to let you know when you are low, but I have gone under, and I was not charged a ridiculous amount of money. (Looking at you, TDbank.)
  • No one hates free money, right? Every other website on the planet is banking that you will give them your email address and not hate the amount of spam that they send to you every day. Something that has worked for me is being a product tester. I got the hookup from a friend who was a science major at a local college. The testing center had gone to her school looking for product testers and she signed up. When she told me about it, she sent me the email. I filled out the survey, and I was called in to do the product testing! The studies vary from products to take home, while others take about a half an hour to do at the actual center. Many times the money is around $50, but other times, it can be around $100. That can be a quick fix for money if you are in dyer need!

Many times, people who look at money as a necessary evil, make money the enemy. Money, when handled correctly, is able to take a backseat to what is important in your life, and just be there when needed. After my husband and I got a handle on our finances, we were finally able to sit back, live within our means, and learn to make sacrifices. We can’t all have a Prada bag for each day of the week.

Medication

I finally found myself without medicine, and I could not be prouder.

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Originally posted at Real Talk Magazine

First it was Imitrex; only use as needed. The diagnosis was chronic migraines. They didn’t go away. Then, it was Migranal Nasal, with an “as-needed” dosage of Naproxen. I was 17. Every doctor I saw suggested to my parents that we try a new and very trusted drug. It was guaranteed to take all my pain away. I obliged, and my parents encouraged my treatment. I could never blame them for what they did; I was in pain and I was their baby.

My migraines started to get worse and my mother made an appointment with a pediatric neurologist. We talked about my migraines: how they felt, where they started, and when I got them. I answered to the best of my knowledge, but to be honest, I was puzzled too. After several doctor visits, I was ordered to get a CAT scan and an MRI of my head. My imagination was running wild. Did I have a tumor? Why am I getting these migraines?

The tests came out clean, and my doctor had become more concerned by my unknown condition. After going to the emergency room over 15 times in my senior year of high school, my family was at a loss. No one could figure out what was wrong with me. Doctors, family, and friends were puzzled as to why I would sleep for days at a time, and still not feel better. I felt discouraged, I felt like I would always feel this way.

My mother had spoken to several friends, and one made a suggestion that my migraines may be psychosomatic. Later that day, she made an appointment with a psychiatrist. Sure enough, I was diagnosed with mild anxiety issues and I was prescribed Topamax. Apparently, in small doses, it was used to treat migraines. It was also used, in higher doses, to treat high anxiety and seizure disorders.

After taking Topamax for a couple of months, it was time for me to go off to college. I was excited to start my classes for journalism, write for the newspaper, and make new friends.  Although I had the drive to go to my classes, and be involved in extracurricular activities, my high dosage of Topamax caused me to have symptoms of severe ADD.  I could not read my assigned homework or sit still to study. I felt stupid. I felt like I was in a perfect place for knowledge, but could not obtain any of it because of my lack of concentration.

On top of ADD symptoms, I was never hungry. I would eat small portions once a day. Family and friends thought that I was homesick, and during Thanksgiving break, I wasn’t recognized. I had lost over 50 pounds due to the medication. Sounds perfect for a college girl, right? Wrong. I was shaking constantly, and had a dazed look on my face. Some professors even went so far as to ask if I had smoked weed before class.

After many phone calls home, I decided that my medicine was doing more harm than good. My anxiety-induced migraines had become so bad, that I was in the emergency room almost once every three weeks. I would be treated with anything from Naproxen to morphine injections. I made the executive decision to go back to my psychiatrist and talk about my options. There were plenty. What are you feeling? Are you very anxious?  I was asked upwards of 100 questions, and was prescribed Effexor. This time, I would have to wean off of Topamax, while stepping up the new drug. For about two weeks, I was miserable. I felt like I couldn’t shake the feeling of instability. Finally, I could feel my new medicine working. This new drug was stronger, and made me feel more dependent on medication. I was convinced this was how I would live; I wouldn’t be able to have a normal life. I was ashamed.

As I grew older, I found myself less and less willing to take my medicine. I started asking Why? and What will happen if I don’t take it? After several skipped dosages, a couple of temper tantrums, and some big anxiety attacks, I was ready to start taking my medicine regularly again. My spirit was broken, and I knew I was going to live on medication forever. I feel like my surroundings, assumptions, friends, and family were to blame for this. If I know something now, it is that medications as strong as the ones I took have a long half-life. Long enough that I would not be affected if I took a dosage later on in the day. Although it is not recommended, it would not be a big problem. I was convinced, through wrong assumptions, if I was feeling anxious on a specific day that it was solely because I had not taken my medication. I was led to believe that my medication was the alpha and the omega of feeling better. There was no other option. I had successfully convinced myself that taking a pill every day was going to make me better.

After several years of changing dosages and medication brands, I was fed up. I was fed up with depending on a pill for “happiness.” Honestly, it wasn’t happiness. It was a facsimile of happy. My anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicine had made me lose 50 pounds, have shaky hands, dilated pupils, gain 60 pounds, feel more miserable, have no feelings, and be super happy. Why couldn’t I just be. . .me?

About a year ago, I asked my therapist about a drug-free option. He was ecstatic.  Although he had recommended me to a psychiatrist, my therapist was a non-prescribing social worker with a private practice. To be honest, it was the best way for me to go.  There is no pressure to take medicine, and they have fantastic ways to beat mental illness without drugs.

Without drugs, I learned so much about myself. I learned how strong I can be, and how to pick myself up by my bootstraps. Mental illness can never be “cured;” it isn’t a viral disease. However, depression and anxiety can be kept at bay. I learned to celebrate the little victories; even if I rolled my eyes at myself for celebrating stupid things, I still did it. I made a big deal out of small achievements, and soon, I remembered what it was to have light in my eyes. I learned not to depend on a small pill to tell me how to feel, and how to act. I depended on myself, and only me. I finally found myself without medicine, and I could not be prouder.

No Dog is Free

Clearance puppies ain’t cheap.

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A couple of months ago, my husband and I were getting something most folk call, “puppy fever.” We just purchased our first house, we had a handle on the bills, and we had worked out our daily schedules. There was nothing serious thrown around until my husband’s best friend told us about a dog that needed some love.

As the all time biggest pushover, I decided to take a leap of faith and make the trek out to Philly. As I sat in my car, I felt as if I was about to go on a first date. I was nervous, and excited to meet the potential newest member of our little family. Voices in the back of my head made me doubt myself, as visions of not having enough money for the mortgage danced in the back of my head. I still went through with the meeting…as I said, I’m a pushover.

As I walked up the stairs to meet this nugget, I could feel myself getting clammy. I’ve had dogs for years, and yet I was standing outside an apartment door with my husband’s best friend asking myself, “Do I put my hand out first? What if she hates me?”

As he opened the door, a 50 pound lug of a mutt came over to me and immediately jumped on me. Her name was Roxie, and she was free. I can’t exactly remember the next couple of hours, as we trotted around the parking lot of the apartment complex. She was far from leash trained, and as we have found out recently, far from being a listener either. 🙂

I made the game time decision to bring her home with me, with the option to bring her back is she wasn’t right for us. The first night, I renamed her Marlow and she slept in our room. She was very attached to both my husband and I as we tried to watch TV before crashing from a long day. She cried for the better part of the next day, and would not stay in her crate. In fact, she literally BROKE a $100 crate by pure force and anxiety. She wasn’t crate trained either. So, that was fun. My first day as the owner of Marlow, and I had already spend close to $500 on supplies for her.

After having a couple of accidents,tearing most of our office walls to shreds, and stealing my favorite blanket as her own, I decided to take her to a vet about separation anxiety. When I say she would lose it when we left…she would LOSE IT. Most of our wall behind our office door was scraped and torn from 1) getting out of her crate and 2) being in a bedroom for a couple of hours. Needless to say, she doesn’t stay in there anymore.

Anywhos, that vet visit came to a whopping $100 for the visit, and the anxiety meds. (Which we never picked up because I cannot rationalize giving my animal a human sedative.) After a couple of days, and lots of advice from dog owners, we learned other ways to develop a routine with her so that she wouldn’t lose her shit each time we left. After a week or so, we started seeing marked improvement.

After another week or so, homegirl decided to get all fuzzy eyed on us, and start peeing everywhere in the house. Let’s call this vet visit another $150 for a UTI treatment…for a freaking dog. Girlfriend got it bad, and it took well over a week for all of the symptoms to go away. So, let that sink into your carpet…no, literally. -_-

Over the holidays, I worked long hours, and attempted to see my parents in New York a couple of times. With my husband being injured, I felt it best to let Marlow stay at the pet hotel…and JEEZ was that another whopping total of about $300 for all of the stays put together. Not to mention the first time we took her to be boarded and she got so nervous that she went to the bathroom all over herself and we had no choice but to get a bath included, partially because “the other dogs won’t go near her.” By the way, that’s super expensive when they are 50 pounds and over.

I am not exactly complaining about Marlow, because she is a love…I guess, after seeing all of the animals and pets that have been given to children this past holiday, I have to say that although Marlow is tough, my husband and I saw the meaning of having a dog. When a dog is given to you, or a dog is “free,” it’s not. It takes a real fool to not realize that, and this spoiled brat will be with us for at least 10 years or so.

 

 

 

Damn mutts. 🙂

Buying a House

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Buying a house? Like a real house? To some, that kind of thing makes people quiver. According my husband, it’s the best possible move for us to make rather than renting. Granted, everyone is different…but in our real estate market (PA), it is certainly the right move.

But, buying a house comes with a couple of really…real responsibilities. Ones that you wouldn’t imagine in your wildest dreams. Coming from a girl rifled with anxiety and over thinking, you would think I wouldn’t miss something as big as..oh, a water heater, a roof, or a purchase of a lawn mower…but, we all make mistakes. Right?

I’m here to walk you through this, because as much as other people say, it is almost impossible for a young couple to buy a house…I’m here to tell you, it’s possible. You just have to plan a hell of a lot. (Which is hard for me)

First thing you have to get in order:

Start saving: I’m not talking about $5 every paycheck. I’m talking $100. Rip that band aid off, and get it together. kate spade will ALWAYS be there…and you don’t need to keep up your closet’s appearance, you have bigger fish to fry. If you are already paying rent, make sure to budget yourself. Sit down, and budget into your budget to save about $50-$100 each paycheck…or even every month. It adds up, and it is so worth it in the end.

Start a Savings Account: Transfer your monthly deposit into a savings account that you can’t get your hands on if you have a moment of weakness in Longchamp. We chose to go with Capital One 360, and it seems to give us the best interest rate for the amount of money we had saved up for the house. It also has a really easy app and very pleasant customer service people. We all know I’m hard to please, so obviously they’re doing it right.

Save your pennies: Okay, so this one is dumb, but it helps Michael and me have a little extra cash for when we do want to go out to dinner. Usually, I don’t use cash, but every once in a while we both will withdraw a couple 20’s and use it for the week. ANY change we get goes straight into a huge vase in our room. Since Michael used TDbank, we can change in our pennies and dimes for some crisp hundies if we wait long enough. Some use it as a vacation fund, or a puppy fund…but we use it as a food fund because we’re in love with going out to eat.

Which brings me to my next point….budget your ass.

Sorry, but it has to be said. You literally have no idea how much you hemorrhage in money in ONE DAY if you don’t watch yourself. I’m all about the treat yo’ self…but don’t treat yo’ self to a Chanel if you can only buy a tote from the line at Home Goods. Embrace the cheap, and don’t get tears on your new reusable tote.

I go by the rule: $5 a day on any item you want. Make your food at home, and don’t buy any snacks during the day. Now, the $5 rule is only applicable to frivolous purchases. We all know you have to pump your gas, and buy your groceries…so my $5 is used on my coffee…because I am a beast without it. I sit down after receiving my check and budget in my gas for a week, my groceries, student loans, water bills, electric bills, and our mortgage. After calculating all of our expenses, I see how much we have left.

Since both Michael and I get paid bi-weekly…we multiply 5 times 14…which is obviously 70. I usually give myself $100 in case I forget my lunch one day…but you can you know…not eat or something. I then subtract my “allowance” from my total left…and viola! What you save in that paycheck. It seems like a lot of extra work, but my co-worker turned me into a saving machine when she told me about her unwritten rule! ( thanks G!)

Anyway, back to the important stuff, the house and stuff.

Go Slow: Trust me, you would rather be in your situation and saving for 3 years than buy a house without much planning and be house poor…the worst kind of poor. Not only are you bound by contracts and bills…but you can also be charged a hell of a lot of interest, fees, and garnishing of your freaking paycheck if you can’t pay. This holds true for buying that beautiful new couch for your cozy new living room as well. If you can get a free couch for now, TAKE IT. Take anything you can and say thank you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like the color for your theme…take it and don’t complain. Second hand furniture is the best kind…because it’s mostly FREE. Save that money for a new couch down the line, when you can afford to drop $700 and not cry as they swipe your credit card…oops.

Expect the impossible: You think you won’t have a bum roof? You will. Concrete problems? Yes, those too. Make sure to allot for the unexpected and impossible, because 9 times out of 10, a new (for you) home will have it’s issues, whether it’s carpenter ants or a water heater that leaks…make sure to are prepared for it, because it will happen.

Now that I’ve thoroughly discouraged you…sorry…I will leave you with one thing:

While I am sitting at my kitchen table, that we bought by ourselves for $500 off of Close5, I will say, it feels pretty damn good to know that I have at least on thing handled.

Now, if I could get my dog to stop jumping onto my bed…

Love you, mean it.

K

Pinterest, Etsy, and David’s Bridal…Oh my!

…and I suddenly was on the verge of my first #bridebreakdown.

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Hi. You may know me as this bitch who lost her shit when she tried to plan the perfect pinterest inspired wedding…and forget about writing until after the blessed event. Sorry, charlie..it had to happen.

But, I’m back, and I have way too much to say about everything and anything that went on for the past couple of weeks (erm, months…sorry about it)

Anyway, let’s just call Pinterest a land of perfect dreams in an imperfect world, or where dreams of your wonderful, fantasy life go to die. Let’s start from the beginning:

I got engaged, and immediately started planning: Visions of mint and purple bridesmaid dresses flew around my head, while I decided on mason jars and an outside wedding with a sky of twinkling mason jar lights. I would have a princess ballgown, and my beloved would wear a tuxedo.

After many nights of planning, and planning some more…I realized that my fall inspired wedding would only be complimented by lace rust colored dresses and orange and purple flowers. Hours of searching, and I came up with nothing but frustration. Pictures of models in their wedding pictures, posed to perfection gave me nightmares…and I suddenly was on the verge of my first #bridebreakdown.

*cue dramatic music*

Soon, I was spinning out of control, worried about what everyone would think, and how everyone would judge my color scheme, my dress, my hair, and my crafty way of proposing to my bridesmaids. (Hint, I forgot to propose to half of them, and still have their “will you be my bridesmaid?” cards upstairs in one of my many packed up boxes. Oops.)

I started planning my Etsy purchases, deciding on tie clips and necklaces for the bridal party. Shot glasses, and headbands, and cigar boxes for everyone! The one thing that everyone seems to forget is that everything costs money– that sure, you gain back later, but seriously? $2,000 on invites, stamps, shoes, and my FIRST wedding dress was necessary? To me, yes…and I would do it the same if I could hop in a time machine, because the end is my favorite part.

The end? Yea, the end was in sight when I looked at the 10 cartons of mason jars that I decided to HAND CRAFT with lace and burlap ribbon…and think, “jeez, these suck…I’m not using them” on the 18th of September…a day before my wedding…and you know what? It didn’t matter, and no one cared, and no one missed them…and I was happy.

5 Of The Worst Bridesmaids Ever

Bridesmaids can make or break your wedding.

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Bridesmaids can make or break your wedding. They are supposed to be your best girlfriends and your closest family members. Bridesmaids are supposed to make your life a little bit easier…but sometimes there can be a sour fruit in your basket.

The Drunk One
Ok, this is a dig at myself circa 2009, but c’est la vie, right? Whatever. Girlfriend definitely doesn’t know her limit, and she is totally fine with it. You will usually find her with a beer in her hand while everyone is having a mimosa on the morning of the wedding. We aren’t exactly sure how many she had before she got to the bride’s house, but we know that she probably pre-gamed. Your drunk bridesmaid will most likely ugly-loud cry at your ceremony, and make a scene at the cocktail hour about the lack of mixed drink options. Keep her around, she’s a lost soul.

The Slut
I don’t have any desire to have this lady in my bridal party…for good reason. Not only are your guy’s groomsmen all in committed relationships, but the guests that she’s hitting on all have dates that are currently present at your blessed event. Jesus. Does it ever end? Girlfriend couldn’t decide which squeeze would be the lucky guy, so she actually had the nerve to ask for a plus 2 for her invite. It’s a train wreck and a half, and is usually super entertaining…however, today is not the day for an airing of Desperate and Slutty.

The Overly Opinionated
OH GOD. Let’s just say, shut it. This one is the worst of the worst. Yes, opinions are fantastic…and are even better when you are already leaning against an idea. It’s not a great idea to have this one overly involved in your wedding plans, or you’ll end up planning her dream wedding instead of yours. Piece of advice? Keep this one at arm’s length. Word of advice to this bridesmaid? Get it together. This is your friend’s day…not yours. You two have different styles, and she may want to have a Newsie’s themed wedding. Back her up and ask what color suspenders you should wear.

The Ghost
You won’t see this bitch until she shows up without her jewelry on the wedding day. She probably made an excuse to not come to the rehearsal dinner, but instagrammed her mojito at that classless bar down the block. She will never respond back to your texts, and certainly will not be present at your bachelorette party. Whatever. How do you deal? Make sure to buy an EMF meter and hover it over your wedding pictures. She’ll show up again just in time for you to get pregnant, she loves a good baby shower.

The One Who Ain’t On Board
This one is single, and certainly ready to mingle. The one who ain’t on board should not be confused with the slut, due to one difference: she hates all men, and believes that she will never get a boyfriend. She loathes the fact that you have decided to enter into holy matrimony, and she literally cannot believe that you…the girl who swore off men in college…would ever “break” and get hitched. Let her know your RSVP to her wedding in 2020 to an elderly doctor is an obvious yes.

Love you, mean it

xoxo Kate

**Disclaimer: None of the aforementioned bridesmaid types represent anyone in my bridal party, for serious. Research has been done through many forums.