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5 Real Things I Heard This Week

December 27, 2014January 3, 2015 katemcgate2 Comments

I’m not going to lie, I have dumb moments…but nothing like this. I’ve had to duck under tables and run out of places in order to not be considered “rude.” Sigh. Here it is:

5 Real Things I Heard This Week

“Christmas isn’t a religious holiday…these people are trippin'” Literally no words for this. I can’t imagine the disappointment this one face after googling the history of Christmas.
“I haven’t heard anything about ISIS in a while, guess that’s over!” Just, not a good thing to joke about, 12-year-old. Try again.
“Are you asking him to the dance? I think he has a limp. That’s not a good dance partner.” People with limps are people too.
“I don’t think that jacket is a good fit for you, that’s a poor people brand.” Yes, that’s a nice thing to say to a person.
“The iced bucket challenge is over! I guess everyone raised enough money for ALC!” I believe the word you are looking for is ALS, and no…it just got too cold for people to dump large tubs of ice water on their heads.

This is why I love to people watch…and eavesdrop. Piece of advice: Think before you talk. You just may end up on here…#whitneyportface

Also: just taking some time off for the holidays! I’ll be back full force the first week of January! Have a wonderful New Year’s Celebration…and don’t act a fool. Save your money. Spoiler alert: A huge ball drops and a new month starts at midnight!

xoxo Kate

A Strongly Worded Letter to Kiosk Salespeople

December 16, 2014December 16, 2014 katemcgateLeave a comment

Dear Kiosk Salesperson,
Thank you for taking the time out of your day (and mine) to try to sell me a facial product scooped up from the Dead Sea. Really, I appreciate it.

Frankly, I think I am too nice.. See, I work in the mall, and I sometimes only have a 15 minute break to get some food. I stopped for you, and smiled politely as you went through your sales pitch. As you can see, I am ravenous and I need to get some stuff done. Not to mention, I was harassed a few steps before this: at your brother’s “Dead Sea nail filing system” kiosk. He proceeded to take off my manicure (on one nail) to show me how my nail will shine without polish. I meant to thank him, I wanted one nail completely naked. I’m glad he did it for me.

You see, I am a sales person as well; but I don’t think you see me ripping people’s clothing off in order to make the sale. In my line of work that’s considered borderline rude and perverted. I am just as successful…if not more successful when not touching clients.

I encourage you to change your ways. Stop reaching out to me and telling me my eyes are beautiful…I know they are. If your sales are down, I think it has to do with the fact your product doesn’t work, not that you didn’t ruin enough people’s manicures or face makeup.

In closing, please take a sales lecture or training class. It will do wonders for your company.

Love,
The World

Christmas Prep

December 16, 2014 katemcgateLeave a comment

Chasing Michelin

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I was starting to settle in, I was working under Michi in Patisserie. There was a routine: start the day by running all the homemade ice cream through the pacojet machine. We would look through the fridge and make sure everything was less than three days old. If it was more, it went out as Trax’l (a sweet amuse sized dessert composed of two or three different things) sent to our traditional restaurant with the check. Each station had about three hours to mise em place before lunch service began on the average day.

I was focusing on the little accomplishments, since ice cream scoopers were forbidden to be used, it took quite some time before I was able to make a passable Quenelle. One of the tricks that got drilled into my mind was to always use a good shaped…

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Chic and Cheap Weddings: 103

December 16, 2014January 21, 2015 katemcgateLeave a comment

After a long week of soul searching (and working like a dog), I’ve decided to write another post about weddings. It’s certainly a biggie: wedding favors, table linens, and veils

Alright, this is a short post, but important.

Wedding Favors

Girl please, most people will be too drunk to get the favor…(unless it’s a dry wedding…in which case, you need to get your priorities straight.) So, anyway, there are plenty of favors that are less expensive than the common ones. For example: food, bubbles, or flower seeds. Candy can run you a good $2.00 per candy, while flower seeds and be a couple cents, if you know where to go. I have gone to my fair share of weddings, and I will tell you my ultimate favorite favor: Nothing. THERE! I said it! Donate that money to a good cause…we all know your guests are more excited about their new profile pics and their drunken buzz than a package of *literally* terrible candies with my husband’s face on them.

Table Linens

Another ridiculous expense that most brides would be better without. Yes, your color scheme is important…and yes! the lace linens you saw ARE super cute…but literally, your guests are looking at you, talking about you, and taking pictures of YOU. I have never heard of a party-goer saying that a bride’s table linens were not “up to par.” Please, we all know you spent a fortune on a table cloth that your aunt dropped spaghetti on…and then tried to cover it up. Linens are the WORST. It is so easy to get caught up in that crap. Do me a favor (just for me, please!) Don’t spend extra on table linens. Most of the time, your venue will have a vast amount of choices that come with the price. Take those bitches for all they are worth!

Veils

Oh, lady! You are literally putting a piece of fabric in your hair for about 3 hours! You might want to make it interesting…for goodness sake, it’s your wedding! If you are anything like me, you want it to be traditional. I get that, I really do. Traditional is good! Don’t splurge for a veil. My advice? Go on etsy, ebay, or a pre owned shop. It will save your life…and your wallet (Which is super cute, by the way!)

That’s all for today, the holidays are getting to me! Oh, and I got published on Elite Daily! Check that baby out!! I’ll see you after Christmas!

xoxo -Kate

Holiday Shopping Etiquette

December 5, 2014 katemcgateLeave a comment

Ah, the season of grumpy parents and bratty children has begun! I’m so excited! Partially because I am neither…but because of Caramel Brulée Lattes at Starbies. But, that’s another post…for another time. However, if you don’t know what it is…click that link, educate yourself, and get back to me…pledge.

Cool- we’re all caught up? Great. Let’s get started. Last year, I blogged about budgeting and making sure you all knew the tips and tricks to stick to your budget. This year, I’m talking about etiquette. Someone has to– might as well be me.

Who To Buy For:

Your direct family. This means parents, siblings, and yes…your in-laws too. Get a “couple gift” if need be, but don’t be a rude sister/brother-in-law. It leaves a bad taste in a person’s mouth.
A significant other. Depending on the seriousness of your relationship, gifts may have to be purchased for his or her family members as well. If engaged, get it together.
Your BFF. Talk to her/him. Determine a budget and stick to it. No one wants to be embarrassed when exchanging gifts.
Your Close Friends. If they are all in the same close knit group, do a Secret Santa sort of deal. If they aren’t, work it out individually. Some friends don’t want to give gifts, and would rather just have a fun night together. I get it, and I’ve done it.

Who Not To Buy For:

That crazy coworker who bought you a candy cane.
Your Dunkin’ lady…your Starbies barista may be another story: She just gets you..and I get that.
Your “friend” who you see once a year to “exchange gifts.” Please, let that end…sooner rather than later.
Your customer at work who knows what kind of car you drive, and the type of coffee you drink. My advice? Don’t drink the coffee she brings you when she comes in to buy stuff. Just saying…
Your coworker’s child. Unless you are close, which I doubt, refrain from this practice. You’ll be broke by the time that kid graduates from kindergarten.
Your boss. We know, it’s important to suck up. Write a card with meaningful thank you. If they wanted a gift, they would have given you a raise.

That’s it. Don’t buy petty, nonsense gifts. This time of year, it is so easy to go crazy and shop for anyone you’ve ever had a conversation with. Don’t do it. It’s not cute. As always, stick to a budget, and always remember to avoid a credit card charge!

xoxo- Kate

Chic and Cheap Weddings: 102

November 30, 2014January 21, 2015 katemcgate1 Comment

Take your seats and get your notebooks out, it’s time for another wedding chat. Last time, we spoke about photographers, wedding halls, dresses, flowers, and Pinterest avoidance. This time, we’re digging deeper into details. Rip off that band-aid, girl! We’ve got stuff to do.

I’ll start by talking about the smaller deets: Pre Cana (If you’re into it), Bridesmaid dresses and gifts, cakes, and save the dates.

Religious Training for Marriage

If you want your marriage to be recognized by your religion/church/temple (etc.), your significant other and you must attend classes in order to be well prepared for the sacrament. In my case, Michael and I must attend Pre Cana. To be honest, we’re fairly excited. We want to meet new couples that are just as excited and are ready to get married. The downside? That $150-$300 fee to take the class. Girrrrrl what theeee…?! I’m all for doing this right, but wow! That’s pretty hefty. This is something that’s non-negotiable. Especially if your religion is important. My suggestion for this one? Put aside the money down. Live on yogurt and PB sandies for the next week until your paycheck comes in. It will be over and done with. Better yet, submit the payment so you aren’t tempted to use it.

Bridesmaids

Sisters, cousins, and besties all will be gathered next to you the day of your wedding. You appreciate it right?! But where does the line get crossed? What is proper wedding etiquette when it comes to the bridesmaid dresses? What about gifts? If you are buying the dresses for your ladies, forget the gift. That is their gift. Bridesmaid dresses (if not shopped for appropriately) can be upwards of $400!! Going on sites like bridesmaids.com will be a lifesaver for you. Being money conscious for your girls is also a huge thing. Yes, that bridesmaid dress is perf, but the one of $99.00 is much better in your bridesmaid’s eyes. Please don’t start with the “but it’s my day!” crap. Yes, it’s your day, but those girls don’t HAVE to be next to you. Be kind.

As for gifts, make it personal. Make it you. Make it you and your bridesmaid. Stop with that expensive stuff! (Unless you get a phenom deal, then go ahead) There are plenty of things you can do as an alternative that your bitties will like just as much, like a welcome box with a bottle of wine, some gum, some cute (reasonable) earrings or a bracelet, and an adorable wine glass. Get your creative on. Your bridesmaids will appreciate your sentimental actions and be so much more excited to do things for you! (excellent.)

*This bullet also goes for groomsmen.

Cakes

We’re sailing into uncharted territory. This is probably the single thing I am avoiding while planning my wedding. I feel too much pressure! I like chocolate, but my family may not! My friends might hate fondant, and my family may hate buttercream! As if Pinterest wasn’t pressure enough, so many of my friends are shocked I’m not excited about this. Whatevs, I don’t like a lot of sugar! Sue me. Anywhos, my reception site makes the cake. Which is super convien. and makes me happy that I don’t have to go cake maker shopping. Ugh. For those of you that aren’t as lucky, make sure that you LIKE the taste of the cake. Make sure that the cake is a flavor that you and your fiance enjoy or agree on. After all, the cake is probably never remembered…with all that alcohol, right?

If you’re like me, look at alternatives. Although I’ll be getting a cake (as per my fiance’s request), cupcakes and a dessert table can be beautifully arranged.

Save the Dates

Make sure not to spend too much money on this. I swear, everyone obsesses over save the dates. I’ll tell you what I think: It literally sits in a person’s house, on their refrigerator (or didn’t even make it out of the envelope). Most of the time, the invitation is what really reminds a person. It’s a good idea to send out save the dates if a couple is getting married on a holiday weekend. Other than that, save the dates are frills that are fun to look at.

Tune in next time for the unnecessary frills that are never noticed!

xoxo- Kate

The Latest and Greatest in Dupes: Fashion Edition

November 27, 2014November 27, 2014 katemcgate4 Comments

We all can’t have the closet filled with names like Alexander McQueen and Betsy Johnson like Carrie Bradshaw, and we definitely can’t have a closet filled with tweed, fabulous Burberry dresses, and preppy headbands like Blair Waldorf. What’s a girl on a budget to do? Let’s take a look at the latest in winter fashion.

Take a look underneath my reg sendoff..

xoxo -Kate

Outerwear

Capes: I LOVE capes. I love everything about them. There’s something so…American Horror Story: Coven about them. They put an outfit together and make your presence say, “Uh, it’s me..bow down.” Loves it. Don’t love the prices. Some capes can go for a couple hundred. Obvi, they’re the cute ones. So, I found one that is simply to die for, and under $50.00. Who loves me?

Boohoo.com: Dora Aztec Wool Look Cape: $44.00

Holiday Parties

K, so who loves tartan? Just me? Whatever..I’m obsessed. The awesome thing about tartan is that the pattern can be found in pants, cardis, skirts, and dresses. Below are some phenom “party” pants. Go crazy, just don’t break the bank.

Holiday Tartan Cocktail Ankle Pants: $148.00

New Year’s Eve Dresses

Everyone knows you need a flashy little number that everyone will be too drunk to remember what it looks like. Whatevs..I see why you want it. So, here are two almost identical dresses.

Vineyard Vines, Sequin Rope Dress: $398.00

H&M: Sequined Dress: $34.95 — H&M Sequined Dress: $34.95

Bow Tie Shirts

These are amaz. They remind me so much of Blair Waldorf. Jeez, throw a cape on and an adorbs midi skirt, and you’re ready for anything!

Bring It to the Boardroom Top, ModCloth: $39.99

ALEXANDER MCQUEEN Bow-tie cotton shirt: $845.00

Cozy Flannels

Flannels are in and better than ever. We love flannels. They can surprisingly be dressed up, and obvi dressed down. Anyway you look at it, flannels are here for the long haul! (And we are super excited!)

Boots

Le SIGH. Love these things. I would live in riding boots if I was able to. Whether it’s an over the knee boot, or just hitting mid-calf, boots are an essential when it comes to colder weather. Let’s take a look at a price difference. Now, if you’re a complainer and can’t see that they look PRACTICALLY the same, you have set yourself up for failure. Do you know who notices brands on shoes? People with foot fetishes.

The 5 People You Meet In A Starbucks Drive-Thru

November 25, 2014November 25, 2014 katemcgateLeave a comment

The drive-thru is sort of like the melting pot of a coffee shop. People come and go, sort of like the streets of a big city, except everyone has the same purpose: to become caffeinated. On top of that, it also is a place where the people who “ain’t got time for that” go to meet and become friends.

The Mother of All Basics

Although I consider myself a severe basic bitch, nothing compares to this girl. All of you can already imagine what she’s wearing. It’s cold, so she’s wearing leggings and uggs to keep her body warm. Oh, she is so good. On top of that, she’s a gold card member. She will actually hold up the entire drive thru line in order for her to get her lucky 12th star. This one is a classic. Chances are, she’s going to her internship at Vogue or Cosmo. She loves her vintage whale tees from Vineyard Vines, her Tory Burch riding boots, and her lovely Kate Spade bag with a matching wallet. Can you guess what she’s ordering? PSL all day long. Except in the spring and summer when it’s a Caramel Macchiato and she has no choice. If she is in denial about how basic she actually is, she’s probably having a Frappuccino of some sort without the whip! (Less calories that way)

The Senior in High School: The Trainee

You already know where I’m going with this one. Basically, she’s a MOAB in training. She just got her license two weeks ago, she’s got all her bitties in the car, and she’s ready for her double chocolatey chip frappe frappuccino… “That’s not the one with coffee, right?” This car also tends to pull over after leaving the drive thru line so she can Instagram a selfie with her drink, check in on Facebook, and figure out some sort of way to get the 17-year-old barista’s attention.

The “I’m in a Rush” Car

Either the driver is late for work or is just an asshole; this one is a super fun car to be in front of. After seeing the huffing and puffing followed by a “throw my hands up in the air” motion, the best thing to do is to have a little cynical fun. My suggestion is to take your sweet time finding your money. Asking the employees to throw out your Starbucks cup from the day before, and maybe drop something in between the window and your car. Not only will you receive the nastiest looks through your rearview mirror, but you may actually get a honk when you are next to them at a red light. Usually the honk happens once the light turns green. You know that tough guy isn’t coming out for a fight.

The Damn Mess

Oh, girl. I’ve been there. I have so been there. This is the car that is making the barista wait with the drive thru window open while its 15 degrees outside. I’m not entirely sure who I feel worse for: the barista who is so ridiculously cold, or the girl who can’t find her debit card, who doesn’t have a free cup holder, and drops her order all over herself and down the side of her car. I think it’s a tie.

The “I’m Getting These For Friends” Car

We’ve all been there; you’re waiting in line patiently and roll down your window for some fresh air. The sounds of the parking lot and the girl in front of you ordering is all you can hear. “OK, SO I’m getting like 8 drinks. I need TWO of those things, like the holder things? Ok, cool. SO first one…omg shut up! I’m ordering! Uh, hello?! Ok, FIRST ONE: A VENTI ICED COFFEE, NO SUGAR, NO MILK, JUST WHIPPED CREAM. OK, SECOND ONE: A TALL HOT CARAMEL LATTE WITH NO MILK.” So, that goes on for about 15 minutes, with interruptions from her friend who literally can’t even right now. There should be an express line, for people who don’t ask for stupid drinks at Starbucks.

In conclusion, if you fall into one of these categories, stay home. Or better yet, figure your life out before you get to the drive thru. The rest of the world will thank you.

xoxo -Kate

Some Advice Before Buying Full Price

November 22, 2014November 22, 2014 katemcgateLeave a comment

Hey Boos-

Ok, so let’s talk about this whole instant gratification thing. I’m guilty. Who isn’t? …put your hand down, bitch. Anyway, I want to talk about buying full price in a store or online. Stawp it. You know it’s going on sale in like, a week. Let me tell you, stores pull items off the floor almost weekly. Stores also almost ALWAYS mark that stuff down come the next two or three weeks. If they don’t, whatevs. Hate me, I saved you some money.

Here’s some advice to you when something is on the market that you just can’t get your eyes off of. (I’ve been there,after all… I am human.)

Stalk the crap out of it. Visit that website every day if you have to. Sign up for promo e-mails, then unsubscribe after you’ve gotten what you need from them. (Ugh, that’s so terrible.)
Make sure you do price comparisons. Go on direct online sites that maybe selling the same item for cheaper.
Although I used to stick my nose in the air about this, check Amazon and Ebay. No jokes..well the one joke would be if you bought something and it was fake…but seriously, there are a lot of people out there who have what you want and are selling it because of a break-up, divorce, or they too are broke!
You want it? Work for it. Go on every website you can think of. RueLaLa, Hautelook, Nordstrom, Bloomies, Macy’s, Neiman, Lord and Taylor, do I need to go on? I mean, you found me because you’re trying to get off the drug, you already know what it looks like 😉
Just know how terrible you’ll feel when you’ve already bought it, and it goes on sale the next day.

(On another note, trying to stop shopping is like trying to stop smoking the first, second, and third time. Harder than hard. But, once you get over the first hump, it’s so good…in reference to both things.)

Anyway, happy hunting!

xoxo- Kate

Just A Little Story

November 21, 2014November 21, 2014 katemcgateLeave a comment

This is somewhat an old story, fantastic laughs and totally true. I did have another blog, but I never got it started. I decided I’d share this here!

PS- I’m letting ya’ll laugh at my misfortune.

Alright friends, let’s talk about a little thing called wild life. To be more exact, a deer running head on into the side of your car, at 6:30 in the morning. Those suckers are solid as hell. I’d be the first to tell you.

Let’s do a run down of the sitch: I was called into work an hour early, and could NOT get out of my own way while getting ready. Although I was running late, I stopped for a coffee, AND was listening to the radio. For those who know me, homegirl needs her coffee and always listens to her iPod…so this is a weird day already. Anyway, half way through my 45 minute trek through farm land (or whatever PA suburbs call themselves) a freakin’ deer came out from the woods and ran straight into the driver’s side of the door. Not only did I scream loud enough to wake up the entire neighborhood, but all the drivers around me stopped to see if I had died.

Let’s just say, everyone knew I wasn’t from “around there.” Whatever. Deers are bitches, and I hate all of them. My car, my poor baby Sloane Peterson, had been damaged. So much so, that I could not get out of my side of the car. Just my luck really, as if people didn’t find my behavior awkward already, climbing through the passenger side of a car REALLY makes people just say, “BOY! That girl is all sorts of normal!”

After telling my entire family about my brush with a beast unknown to my parts, my family started sending me “Joe Buck, Attorney at Law” flyers, complete with a picture of a buck (male deer for all you common suburban people) in a suit, posing for a picture.

Needless to say, my misfortune became my family’s main source of humor for more than a couple days.

Beteedubs: The deer didn’t die, which my faithful protector was super disappointed about. In his words “That would-a been dinner!” AND my car’s damage was more than 5 grand. BUT! I’m fairly happy I am safe and I wasn’t damaged in the process.